ALC Review: "Never Date a Roommate" by Paula Ottoni ★★★

ARC Review: Never Date a Roommate by Kate Golden (Narrated by Gabriela Tola)

This was an exceptionally cute and cosy fake-dating roommates-to-lovers romcom with a stunning slowburn that will have you giggling and kicking your feet.

His moans and sighs are music to my ears. His skin is my haven. I’ve never felt so much a part of someone else.
We are one. He completes me.
He’s my best friend, my home, my work, my lover. He is part of everything that makes me who I am in Denmark. It’s frightening to need someone so much. It’s terrifying to know that, without him, nothing makes sense.

[Contains some spoilers]

PLOT SUMMARY
Marisol “Sol” Carvalho is a Brazilian game developer who moved to Copenhagen, Denmark, to escape her stifling family more than eager for her to return home. After six months at the prestigious Scorpio Games, she’s a frontrunner for a dream promotion to game director – a new project set to start next year. The only thing standing in her way is her know-it-all nemesis, Martin Olesen. But Sol’s dreams will be crushed, as her apartment lease expires in ten days.

Her solution comes in the form of Erik Storm, a 31-year-old, Thor-lookalike gamer who is now unemployed. Erik, who has a mysterious past with Scorpio Games and his own betrayal story, agrees to rent Sol his spare room. The terms are simple: they must maintain strict boundaries and never get romantically involved.

Determined to impress her boss, Lars Holm, and secure the promotion, Sol begins lying about her life to appear more committed to settling in Denmark. She asks Erik to pretend to be her boyfriend, offering to help him get revenge on the man who betrayed him – the same Martin who is now her rival for the promotion.

Not only do they struggle to keep their feelings for each other in check, but Martin steals Erik’s app idea and threatens to expose Sol’s lies to Lars. Now, Sol and Erik must work together to publish his app before it’s too late. But as they navigate these challenges, their fake relationship begins to feel real, which makes them wonder: what will happen when their ruse reaches its boiling point?

He looks relaxed, comfortable. He is in the moment, immersed in his role. When Erik is playing my boyfriend, he is confident and cheerful. He is lightning, not thunder. His deception is beautiful.
But it can’t be *so* deceptive. He is starting to act like that when we are alone too. When it’s just us working on the project, making some quick dinner, or cleaning the apartment to the sound of Scarlet Pleasure. His light shines through the clouds.

This is told from the first-person present-tense POV of Sol.

OVERALL OPINIONS
This is a rather late review: I got the ALC ages ago but didn’t have the time to tune in (except for the first chapter) until recently. I apologise for the delay.

ㅤ🏡🎮danish delights🎮🏡
This could not come at a better time for me, as I was in a reading slump and this caught my attention. As a former student at university who studied computing with friends who did computer gaming, some of this hit close to home. It is easy to lose a passion for coding when doing it repetitively so I could understand where Sol was coming from.

I liked the idea of the dating app Cinder with the Cinderella-like vibes where you have a glass slipper. Coincidentally, I also made a Tinder-like app (though less to do with dating and more to do with artwork) so I vibed with their app Love Birds. It really is such an inventive way of having people get to know one-another which is something I myself resent about dating apps.

ㅤ🎧🗣️a hygge-ly satisfying audiobook🗣️🎧
The audiobook itself was excellent. As my first ALC, it was a great place to start due to the story’s simplicity. It was something quick to listen to, which I occasionally read along to as well (it’s about 250 pages).

Gabriela Tola narrates the story in such a beautiful and profound way. Her authentic accent made it feel as though I was truly hearing the story from the intended narrator’s point of view without it being difficult to understand. Tola did all the narration and voices of characters in the book, making each individual sound a little different, which cannot be easy to do.

ㅤ🏡🎮writing style and pacing🎮🏡
The descriptions throughout the book are fairly simplistic and at times repetitive (Sol’s fixation on Erik’s blue eyes, for example, is mentioned constantly) so it reads like a young adult book, yet it contains adult content, which felt jarring. I would consider going all out or not at all in the future. Unfortunately, the ending felt rushed too, which left me wanting more from the resolution.

I could really feel the vivid vibes of the locations and eating places when Erik takes Sol on a tour, which was where the story was the most immersive. I learned a new word: hygge.

“Cozy and coziness are translations people attempt, but they don’t fully convey the meaning of hygge. It describes a state of being.” He keeps his eyes on mine as we walk. “It’s a feeling of satisfaction and well-being you experience when you’re at peace with yourself and the world at that moment.” He smiles at the reflection of the sun on the water. “And it usually happens when you’re with people you like or love.” He looks down now, as if embarrassed. What for? Implying that *we* can have hygge together?

ㅤ🏡🎮to conclude🎮🏡
Overall, to use Sol’s random scoring game, “twenty points for” Ottoni for her efforts in making her first English-language adult romance debut. This is a delightful story – and it included not one but TWO LOTR references! I’m always a sucker for them in books. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough to up my own score here.

<< Positives >>
🠚 I learned a lot about the pronunciation of Danish words thanks to the audiobook
🠚 There aren’t a lot of stories I’ve read where it’s set in Denmark so this made a refreshing change
🠚 Sol and Erik’s banter and chemistry were lovely!
🠚 Some great character backstories
🠚 Love the Cinder concept
🠚 I like the significance of the name of the gaming company, Scorpio Games. Scorpio is Latin for Scorpion, fitting for the toxicity of the place.
🠚 Larissa and Sol’s friendship is lovely.
🠚 Sol realising that her parents want the best for her rather than want her to come back is a great character development.
🠚 The LOTR photoshopped pic of Boromir saying “one does not simply let a man like that go”

<< Negatives >>
🠚 Sometimes it was not clear where the narration stopped and Sol’s dialogue began.
🠚 The ending felt rushed.
🠚 Erik’s character felt too 2-dimensional than he should, and I think it’s because he disappears quite a few times. He only really lets Sol in on his previous issues rather than his current ones.
🠚 The phrase “moves his eyebrows up and down to illustrate his smartness” is a bit clunky, with “smartness” feeling especially unnatural. The wording could be better. Suggestion: “He theatrically wiggles his eyebrows, smugly pleased with his idea”
🠚 “Come in already,” – such a strange phrasing for *that* deed and it took me out of the moment. Firstly, not sexy. Secondly, coming is more used for the orgasm, not the penetration.
🠚 Do not know Sol’s age (not so important).
🠚 The idea that Sol pitches at the start of the book (but is shut down by Martin) is “detailed” but we don’t get given any information on this. I think this is a missed opportunity, especially since it is something she has been thinking about for weeks.
🠚 I think it would have been better to have her phone conversation in Chapter 2 with Erik just happen, rather than have Sol relay this to her friend Larissa. 🠚 There is a plot hole with the fact it was a phone conversation and not, say, a text because Erik surely SURELY should have recognised her voice when he met her since her accent will be more distinct.
🠚 I understood Sol’s desperation, but why does she have a singular fixation on getting Erik’s apartment in particular? As Larissa says, someone else taking it happens frequently, so there’s no clear reasoning for her to have her heart set on it. It would have made more sense if there had been a prior connection between the two characters or something.
🠚 Erik gets unemployment benefits – but spends it on an expensive frying pan? That rather contradicts the reality of living on a limited income.
🠚 Sol’s reveal during the date that she was the one enquiring about the spare room felt too quick.
🠚 Sol touching Erik’s arm felt too soon.
🠚 Their first kiss was in front of other people. I would have preferred if it was when they were on their own, not for a performance.

CHARACTERS
-ˋˏ ꒰ Sol꒱ ˎˊ-
↳ I relate to Sol a bit. I too thought Vikings weren’t my type and Prince Charming was haha. When it says she “stays quiet unless I’m positive people won't think I’m the odd one out”, I felt that. She gets anxious when she doesn’t hear from Erik, and I’m the exact same. I totally get why she is so scared of feeling suffocated at home too. It must be annoying as well to have people mispronounce your name. I like that she doesn’t want to swear! Her confidence when she wants Erik on his back dayum!

-ˋˏ ꒰ Erik꒱ ˎˊ-
↳ He is so fine! Understandable that he gets so caught up in work that he pushes people away and shuts people out. Of course, the Viking’s favourite game is God of War (excellent choice tbh). The way he knows everything about her already because he has quietly observed her in the apartment ahh! The fact he LEARNS to dance the forró for Sol!!

FAV QUOTES
• I look up at his face—he must be at least six foot two while I’m five-four—caught off guard by his rough beauty. I’m used to seeing blue eyes everywhere by now, but his are especially bright. It looks as though he was sculpted by Odin himself.
• Whatever act of kindness he might do will be strictly for his benefit. In this case, so I don’t have to—*God forbid*, he’d think—sleep on his couch.
• He straightens his posture and looks at me again. The soft glow of the streetlamp outside makes his features discernible—even in the middle of the night. It’s as if the dark can reveal what he hides in daylight. I can see what is behind his ocean-blue eyes. There is defeat, hurt confidence, low self-esteem, and a bunch of other harmful feelings.
• I’ve experienced hygge—or I think I have—a few times since I arrived in Copenhagen. But this moment, right here and now, is the one I’m sure is hygge.
• “We were there earlier today,” he says to the others with a smile, taking my hand and locking his fingers between mine. It’s such an intimate touch I lose my breath, attacked by the butterflies in my stomach. “It was a wonderful day.” I can’t tell if he means this for real, but it is true for me.
• I help people. I don’t abandon them when they need me most. And if there is someone who needs me now, it is Erik Storm. Just as much as I need him.
• Sometimes, it takes a while. I can sit at this table for many minutes, or hours, totally immersed in the work before they hit me. The shivers. The butterflies. The fireworks. The whole darn circus. It’s usually triggered when he leans too close, his breath tickling my skin. When his laugh chimes like Christmas bells next to my ear. When his smile grows until he shows his white teeth, and a little dimple appears on his cheek.
• He interlocks his fingers with mine, brings our united hands to his lips, and kisses the back of my hand. I try to make it look like this is something he does all the time, but my insides are pulsing with the power of ten overworked speakers, a song of temptation and enticement blasting in my brain.
• We are no longer Team Sol & Storm. We are Sol and Erik again, living in their own routines. A room away. A world away.
• I’ve trusted Erik. I *do* trust him. I realize I’d go to the end of the world with him.
• I can’t ruin it all. Better to have fake-boyfriend-roommate-friend Erik than to not have him at all.
• Erik kisses me like he means it, the symphony through the hidden speakers orchestrating the rhythm of our lips. Our intimate dance of colorful desire.
• I’ve never desired a man so much in my life, and I’ve never been so afraid to have him. I’m afraid of what comes after. I dread what I might become once he claims me and changes me irreparably. Because there is no way that having Erik Storm won’t fuck me up.
• “Your bed or mine?” | “Yours. We built it together. Now let’s destroy it.”
• My hand is resting on his face. Erik covers it with his own and drives it toward his lips so he can kiss my palm. “We should give ourselves a chance,” he says, and the words sound like magic to my ears. They sparkle and twinkle. They open my tight chest, making me able to breathe at last. “I can’t promise I’ll be perfect. But I won’t back away.”
• The familiar Erik Storm fire is awakening in him. And I like that. A lot. The wild, determined Viking is back.
• “Love is a dance, Sol, and your partner can guide you, but you can’t let him carry you all the way. You need to be in control too. And you should know your moves so well you can always dance without him.”
• He touches his forehead to mine, and we smile at each other, silent for a couple of precious seconds, in which we tell each other everything we want to say without uttering a single word.

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I received an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review and I’d like to thank Paula Ottoni, HarperCollins UK Audio, and NetGalley for the opportunity. This has not affected my opinion in any way.

“Never Date a Roommate” is out now!