ARC Review: "Always on My Mind" by Carys Green ★★★★

ARC Review: Always on My Mind by Carys Green

This thriller with futuristic sci-fi was a thought-provoking (pun intended), gripping read, delving into the aspects of power dynamics, technological issues, morality and the consequences of concealed truths. Love or hate this, you will absolutely not want to put this down!

Elijah had built an entire world for her; all he was asking was for her to share it with him. To let him in. My every thought. My every worry. My every reaction. My every regret.

[Contains some spoilers]

PLOT SUMMARY
Set in the near future, Anna Weston is a painter struggling to make sales. She is celebrating her 10-year anniversary with her husband, high-demand businessman Elijah “Eli”. They met in university and have been inseparable ever since. Through thick and thin they have stood by each other, particularly through Anna’s several miscarriages. She is hoping he is going to surprise her with a delightful holiday, somewhere they can relax and spend quality time together. Elijah has other plans.

Eli has booked for them to get the latest technological craze: Unity by the company OneMind, a microchip installed in the brain enabling them to share their thoughts with one another, and be closer than ever before. Anna is skeptical, unsure why what they have at the moment isn’t enough, but reluctantly agrees to it.

Things start to look up – until they don’t. A fault in Anna’s chip not only gives her headaches but she is able to see her husband’s dark and mysterious memories concerning his friends, something which should not be possible. And Anna herself is harbouring a secret so deadly it will ruin everything she has ever known. How long can she keep it before Elijah finds out?

This is told from the past-tense third-person POV of Anna.

OVERALL OPINIONS
Ironically, I am giving my thoughts on a book about reading them haha. So this is the first thriller I have read this year, for the first time in about a decade. I devoured this in the one sitting, which is when you know it’s good!

Through the ingenious use of dual timeline, shifting between the Then (life in university with her friend Helen, and meeting Gavin, Elijah and Oscar) and Now (10-year anniversary), we learn more about Anna’s backstory and fill in blanks as the tale progresses. Quite early on I had the gist of the upcoming plot twists.

The vibes of this book remind me of Before I Go to Sleep by S.J. Watson with a small touch of the tv show Sex/Life. I say this because Before I Go to Sleep has a husband having more to him than meets the eye, and the Sex/Life has both the dual timeline storytelling, and the main female character choosing a life of money and security over the man she actually would be happier with.

This whole thing just proves to show, ladies: never ever settle because the man you picked might be a psychopath and a murderer! And always, always pick someone who brings out the best side of you.

(Please appreciate my punny subheadings below haha, I beg of you!)

ㅤ🧠💾implanted symbolism and foreshadowing💭
The title of the book crops up twice within the text, one of the times being Elijah singing the song Always on My Mind to himself in his mind. This has been recorded over 300 times by various artists, the most famous version by Elvis Presley in 1972. The lyrics could be argued as rather fitting considering both Elijah and Anna could treat each other far better:

Maybe I didn't treat you
Quite as good as I should have
Maybe I didn't love you
Quite as often as I could have
Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time
You were always on my mind

Indeed, the songs (rather nursery rhymes that Anna uses to shut Elijah out from her thoughts), to be found within are quite appropriate. For example, when Anna is scared and waiting for Elijah to return home she starts going over Jack and Jill went up the hill – considering the lines include Jack fell down and broke his crown, this is very symbolic as Elijah does end up falling.

There is some very eerie foreshadowing when Elijah is sitting with Anna when they are younger and he says:

‘I imagine it’s a mad house in there [Oscar’s mind]. Not like in your mind.’ He moved to kiss her lips. ‘I’d spend all day in your head if I could.’

ㅤ🧠💾wired humanity and its history💭
Around 2018, thousands of microchips were implanted into people’s hands in Sweden, used as means of storing e-tickets, facilitating gym access, and enabling payment transactions. In January 2024, the company Neurolink reported that they have successfully implanted the first microchip into a human brain, designed to assist neurological conditions.

It is fascinating that we have got to this point where technology will (hopefully) change lives for the better. Though some people understandably distrust the idea.

This story is set some time in the upcoming future where normal people are getting microchips installed to be closer to their partner. A very intriguing and unique concept! This sparks an interesting debate about whether or not it would be useful to hear the thoughts of your significant other. It also questions morality having your privacy invaded in that way, as it could, as we see here, be used in the wrong hands like narcissists who already emotionally manipulate victims.

ㅤ🧠💾control+alt+delete of freedom (narcicissts and technology)💭
There is a fascinating look into the difficulty of living with a narcissist and abuser when they have access to so much technology at their fingertips. I feel this book really does raise awareness to this issue, and this aspect was done very well.

The reader can tell Elijah Weston will be the antagonist from the very beginning, wanting to know where Anna is at all times by tracking her location via her phonedesiring to know her thoughts too by getting the microchip. He has all these technological gadgets within the house, which he has linked up to an app on his phone, all of which he controls. Big stalker, and bigger red flags. I do like the way this is all introduced as this comes into play later on: he is always watching her via cameras, he uses the gadgets against her.

He has so much of a hold over her. The thoughts she hears from Elijah are in bold and hers are italicised, which is incredibly symbolic of their relationship dynamic: he is the bold one, dominant, in control; she is subservient, normal, follows the flow.

It is so blatantly clear that he is not good for her, is complete red flags but Anna seems to either not notice or stay silent. He is too one-track minded. He buys her a whole bunch of roses when he messes up and thinks that solves the whole thing, victim-blames and gaslights her, telling her she is overreacting. He tries to isolate Anna from Mandie, saying that her friend is a bad influence. If someone treated me the way, I would get out of there – although after being with a narcissist myself, I understand that it is difficult to see the warning signs and it is easy to feel like you are indebted to them. Again, raises a great awareness to this behaviour and hopefully encourages people in similar situations to try and leave.

ㅤ🧠💾a thriller with all the right chips?💭
As far as a thriller was concerned, this was alright. It completely ticks the high stakes box as Anna needs to face all the consequences for her actions years ago. There were quite a few cliffhangers near the end which made me like “oh yikes, what is she going to do?”.

The suspense itself was lacking because I had worked it all out, but I did still want to read and find out how the story would be resolved (if it ever). The one thing I didn’t expect was the fall down the stairs and the coma, I thought he would get bumped off and then she would be free.

The character development in this book is poor, Anna’s development is particularly squandered. Anna remains trapped in a cycle of anxious secrecy, a pattern that persists until the eleventh hour (“He mustn’t know. Does he know? Oh he knows”). Though she occasionally displays a flicker of independent thought, often questioning Elijah’s actions, these moments fail to translate into meaningful growth. She only really becomes independent of him on the last few pages.

<< Positives >>
🠚 The whole concept of this book is original and very intriguing.
🠚 Makes excellent use of the dual timeline to reveal everything.
🠚 The mystery was well done.
🠚 I like the pattern that there are reviews about Unity throughout, mostly served as irony for the current situation the main character is in.
🠚 I love the fact that Anna really is no better than Elijah, ironically, they are better suited for each other than you initially expect. This is because they don’t bring out each other’s good side.
🠚 Shows the disadvantages of the microchip implants, for example Anna having a conversation with Mandie IRL, and Eli in her head at the same time. She also sometimes muddles what she is saying to what she is thinking (giving Mandie an answer actually intended for Eli).
🠚 A lot of love-hate relationships for characters.
🠚 The exploration of grief and loss of loved ones is done exceptionally well in this book. Especially loved ones we never knew (miscarriages).
🠚 Created a complex antagonist in Elijah, you want to hate him, then you like him.

<< Negatives >>
🠚 Predictable plot.
🠚 Fairly unsatisfactory ending. I wanted Anna to outsmart him so badly in the house at the end rather than just shove him. Or she could’ve used the oven or something. And get that holiday she wanted. With Gavin. But nope.
🠚 Also, Anna has three people telling her to get the heck out of that place, and what does she do? Runs and hides in the bedroom, boxed in!
🠚 Anna never bothers learning the technology. There is a moment where Anna says to herself she should install the app where she can control everything in the house. I thought this may open up a plot twist. That never happens.
🠚 Anna doesn’t appear to get anything for Elijah for the anniversary. Why? Again, it could have added to the dynamic: he could have semi-dismissed his gift because he wants to push for Unity.
🠚 The concept in this book of hearing thoughts could be considered unrealistic. Some people have many thoughts in a day, whereas others like Anna don’t. I do like that she voices some of her thoughts out loud for fear of sharing it.
🠚 Unrealistic to want to talk to Elijah after everything he has done and tried to do.
🠚 We never find out if Anna succeeds with her art.
🠚 “I can’t let him know about–” in chapter 3 – this feels so early to be dropping hints that she has a secret, that something is wrong.
🠚 I don’t think we ever find out why Elijah wants to do Unity. I assume he was the one messing around with the gadgets to scare her but he never says he does. I think that could have added more to his controlling side: “You need me, Anna. You need me to solve all these problems.” I think a scene at the end would have been nice.
🠚 A few characters are only at the start and I thought they would have made more of an appearance or had more of an impact on the plot. Marcus’ art shop could have added more to the plot. Perhaps Eli could have stopped by looking for Anna because she could have lied and said she was there when she wasn’t? She could have tried to head there to wait for Mandie to pick her up, even if she hadn’t succeeded. And I thought Eli’s secretary Celine may have come more into the picture as the story went on. A seed of doubt, the irony of her being jealous for him potentially cheating on her.
🠚 I thought we would have a scene where Anna discovers Elijah has looked at her painting of the beach where Oscar vanished (she could’ve realised her easel had moved). Like whyyy paint the beach and then panic and just… not do anything to change the painting and turn the easel round hoping he won’t notice?

CHARACTERS
-ˋˏ ꒰ Anna꒱ ˎˊ-
↳ I didn’t find Anna very likeable. If she had just told people the truth to begin with, none of this would’ve happened: Oscar’s death, the broken friendships, who she is married to.
🠚 Also, I refuse to believe that she is what 30? And doesn’t touch a single app on her phone. And that she has been with this man for 10 years and doesn’t think “hmm maybe he isn’t the right guy for me, he seems very controlling”.
🠚 I do like that she doesn’t like all the tech in the house because same haha. And I admire her bravery of breaking the toxic cycle and deciding to raise her child where no one can harm them.
🠚 I love her review of Unity at the end, the great double meaning to it.

I’ll always be forever grateful to Unity for what it gave me – a fresh start. A life I didn’t dare believe I could have. Unity showed me who I really was, who my husband was. Unity set me free.

-ˋˏ ꒰ Elijah꒱ ˎˊ-
↳ A stalker, a competitive man who always has to outdo everyone, a man with a dangerous violent temper. A perfect antagonist.
🠚 He is such a walking contradiction, there are times you like him but then immediately don’t. Take this example, he wanted to be there for Anna when she had been at her lowest and shut him out, there seems to be a genuine concern and wish to be close so he can look after her – but then on the next page he says ‘Can you do this for me? After everything I’ve done for you?’.
🠚 He is also rather dumb though: I mean ‘See how good this is? Usually you’d have had to stop working and trek all the way back into the house to have this conversation’ – did you… did you forget phones exist, my man?

-ˋˏ ꒰ Other characters꒱ ˎˊ-
↳ Mandie is the most relatable and likeable character here. Thank goodness for her, taking a lot of sense! She had the most real quote in the book:

‘No matter how much we think we know someone, we never truly do.’

FAV QUOTES
• The sounds of the city came screaming back to her. Like a serpent at the door, always waiting. The hustle. The grind. Anna feared there was no way to truly escape it.
• Punctual, reliable, envied by others, it was like being married to a Rolex watch.
• Her friend’s bluntness was something she loved a little less than her vibrancy.
• *How can you grieve for something you never had?* And yet you could. With a pain so raw, so isolating, that some days it had the power to take your breath away.
• ‘I don’t need some piece- of- shit microchip to know what you’re thinking,’ Mandie continued with a delicate smile. ‘We’re best friends. It comes with the territory that I know what’s going on in that head of yours.’
• Saying it out loud – her dreams, her aspirations – it made them feel more real, less like a castle in the sky.
• Oscar, who seemed not just drawn to the edge but desperate to vault it. He moved like his past was snapping at his heels and he poured every ounce of his energy into trying to outrun it.
• ‘They’ll just never get this back. This time. Life is so fucking, brutally short. Before they know it they’ll have ties around their necks like nooses: mortgages, kids. It all falls apart after uni.’
• When night fell it was thick and velvety. The stars shone brighter than they did in the city, not having to fight with all the streetlights for dominance.
• ‘You and me, Anna. Always you and me. We made that decision together; we’ll handle the consequences together. You’re not alone in this, baby. We’re in this together. I love you.’
• You’re a typical English rose. Dark eyes, pale cheeks, pink lips. If you were a flower, that’s what you’d be. | Even with the thorns? | Most definitely with the thorns.
• Being around Mandie was like being around the sun; she warmed her.
• ‘I love Elijah.’ | ‘No you don’t,’ Gavin declared forcefully. ‘You’re just saying that because you should love him. Because he’s the easy option, the safe one.’ • It’s just a scratch. | And her thoughts strayed to the hours she’d spent, happily, watching Romeo and Juliet for her English studies. Mercutio upon the beach: ‘Ay, ay, a scratch, a scratch; marry, ’tis enough.’ And then, moments later, ‘Ask for me tomorrow and you shall find me a grave man.’
• She imagined that seeing someone once the life had left them was truly distressing. That losing a friend was something you never got over. But was it different when you were the hand that pushed them? Had she mistaken fear for grief?
• Here at Unity we promise a level of togetherness that has been previously unimaginable. To be within your partner’s mind is so intimate, so bonding, that all our chips come with a ten- year guarantee. That’s how satisfied we know you will be. All of our customers report on how their relationships have been vastly improved thanks to the Unity experience.
• Perhaps if she attempted to claw back this tiny part of herself, the rest would return in time. If she found her love of creating, she might then find her love of eating. Be able to sleep again. The image of the beach, she could return to it. There was something there, within it, she knew it. • Whatever you do, wherever you go, I’ll be there. | Anna cradled her head in her hands. So very exhausted. So very weary. | Until death do us part, right, sweetheart?

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I received an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review and I’d like to thank Carys Green, Random House UK Vintage, and NetGalley for the opportunity. This has not affected my opinion in any way.

“Always on My Mind” is out February 27th!